When You Think Your Family Looks Sponsored by Snap-on...

I looked like such a nerd last night. I was up until almost 2 a.m. running scans on the wiffle's work laptop, surfing around on another laptop and checking out twitter updates on my Blackberry.

During my interweb adventure I found this gem: Family Photos. I grew up in a huge family as the oldest of ten kids and we did some pretty goofy stuff. In retrospect all of those events, photos and family-get-together-traditions that seemed like the end of the Earth, pale in comparison to the majority of these photos.

They span the gamut of crazy. Family photos in matching sweaters is tame compared to the family of mullets, posing in the nude with the family cats and a host of other ideas that seemed revolutionary at the time.

Check it out, you can thank me later.

-WP

A small taste:

The Invisible Twister Pose...

Catface...He's Got a Big Cat's Face...He's Got the Body of a Cat and the Face of a Cat...

I was sent to weebls-stuff by a friend to watch a particular video, my readership as a whole probably wouldn't be too keen on.

While I was there I stumbled upon Catface.

This oblong-headed, floating cat with a European accent has 17 webisodes where he and his sidekick, Boxcat get involved in cheeky shenanigans.

Without blowing the plots of any of the shows, I offer this warning - the theme song is CATchy and will prove to be quite difficult to forget.

Happy watching,

WP

For The Ladies...From The Guys...A Text Poem...

Iam a poet. I used to be more of a poet than I am now, but sometimes I'll be hit with a stroke of brilliance and flair that gets the job done.


This is more for the guys...if you are a chick reading this, then you're jipping yourself out of a tender time.

I jumped in my car the other day really loving my wiffle. I decided to tell her through a series of text messages.

Here they are:

Txt 1: How do I love you, let me count the ways...

Txt 2: Your smile that's always for me. Brightening my day and permeating my dreams...

Txt 3: Your body that provides me endless joy...

Txt 4: Your presence in my life giving meaning to my existence and reason to everything I do...

Txt 5: You are my wife, my life and my best friend. Thank you for everything you do...

The reasoning behind this post is two-fold. 1) I'm awesome, sensitive and God's gift to women. 2) You guys need to make your ladies feel special...why not use the technology you use everyday?

Take it, run with it.

Thanks for reading,
WP

We're mobile now.

A Year Down...Marriage is Exactly What I Hoped It Would Be.

Greetings all!

I've been busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest...

I celebrated my one year wedding anniversary on the 20th of this month and am just now getting around to talking to you about it.

I started planning our little get-away about a month out. I decided that in order to save money I would keep us close. So, I started researching hotels, events, places of interest, etc...

Mandy and I have different interests, which was one of the first things I realized about our marriage- I've actually been paying attention to her wants and needs. Ha ha. But, really.

The first part of her celebration was an hour long deep-tissue massage at The Power of Touch in Jacksonville, NC. The staff there is fantastic and accommodating. They typically close up shop for lunch at 1 p.m., but stayed open later so I could stop by and pay for Mandy's massage so all she had to do was show up and relax.

I settled on the Hilton Riverside in Wilmington, NC. This hotel overlooks the inter coastal water way, the Martin Luther King Jr. Bridge and the majestic USS North Carolina, the decommissioned battleship that bears this great state's name.

The Riverview is a block from Front St. the epicenter of downtown/historic Wilmington and a place the wiffle and I frequent often. There are a ton of bars and little boutiques to pass the time in on a beautiful weekend. The main advantage of this location is 1) we could both drink and stumble back to the room, 2) during the day we didn't need to drive anywhere, just walk to all the shops and eateries.

Here is a cheat sheet to a couple of our favorite places in the downtown.

Cape Fear Beer and Wine

Rum Runners-Dueling Piano Bar

The Front Street Brewery

Back to our room-the rooms are typically $275.00 a night for a king suite. I made the reservation online with my military ID and had a reservation for a room for $93. I was pretty excited about that, but the fine print snuck up on me, the actual room was to be determined upon our arrival to the hotel. Which wasn't a big deal, but it's our anniversary. Not just any room is going to work.

I called the day prior to our check-in and asked the nice lady at the front desk what I would have to do to guarantee we would check-in to a no kidding river-view king suite. I did mention it was our first anniversary, she found my reservation and told me that for $10 bucks she'd give me the room we got. So, for $103 we rolled into a $275 room.

Our dinner was a bit of an ordeal, because I wanted to take her to a sweet place, with nice ambiance and a place we hadn't been before. I shopped around online until I found The Oceanic .

This place was awesome! It's three stories tall, situated at the very tip of Wrightsville Beach. They have a pier that juts out into the ocean and sits a good number of people. A bar is positioned at the end of the pier right out on the water. It's such a beautiful area. I'm going to recommend the Mahi Mahi, blackened with Cajun spices. But, get whatever you want...

It might not look like this is that spectacular of a plan. It's easy to see it worked out pretty well, but I did it all for less than 3 bills. But, the money is only a perk. The real reason it was an awesome weekend was because we are both really busy people. I've got school 4 days a week, plus work, Mandy has work and the gym in the afternoon, I've been getting up at 5 a.m. and going to the gym. We see each other for seconds in the morning and then a couple of 'I love you' text messages throughout the day until about 9 p.m. By then we're pooped. We cook dinner, hit the hay at around 10 or 11p.m. That's Monday-Thursday. Heavy.

I molded this weekend around relaxation and enjoying sometime together. When we checked into our hotel we put our stuff up and walked around downtown, bought some cigars and had a beer and enjoyed being married. We walked along the boardwalk talking, laughing, smoking and meandered back to the hotel. We jumped into the shower CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED.

You're welcome. WINK*

The rest of the events are boring to you...yup...I'm making that call.

I want to mention a couple of things I've learned after having been married now, for a year.

1) It's refreshing to be in love with my best friend.

2) None of the insecurities that plague bf/gf relationships are an issue now.

3) Mandy is smarter than me and I'm ok with that.

4) Mandy is afraid of common sense. I ok with that too, because it makes me feel smarter sometimes.

5) Our future is uncertain and that's fine because it's our future together.

6) Selfishness kills marriages. I'll give you a guess why our's is ok...yup. No Selfishness.

Good luck to the married folk reading this. To the men- always put her first. To the ladies- always put him first.

Thanks for Reading,

WP

P.S. There are a ton of links in this post. Feel free to use them. You're welcome.

George Sodini Was a Basketcase...He Did Humanity a Favor by Offing Himself...The Women He Shot Didn't Deserve it...

I was directed to the blog/journal of George Sodini by a co-worker. I had heard about the event, but didn't do much research. I wrote it off as another wack-job who didn't have the gumption to make something out of himself and decided to exact his anger through shooting innocent women, who were just working out. Turns out I was right and nothing supported it more than reading his blog. http://georgesodini.com/20090804.htm. This is a tormented man.

Give the blog a read.

The biggest lesson I think we can glean from this is to pay attention to your friends. Just because they can project a confident, happy-go-lucky demeanor doesn't mean everything is ok. This guy seemed good at his job, in pretty good shape for his age, he was trying to improve his quality of life with seemingly good habits...

He needed a friend. Don't get me wrong, I'm not making him a martyr. I think he's a lunatic and should've been talking to a shrink. You'll notice a trend though, throughout his blog...he never owns his inadequacies. He never takes any responsibility for his actions or his short-comings. He blames his brother, jackass co-workers, his mom, job and it goes on and on and on...

My families prayers and best wishes go out to the families of the women who were unfairly robbed of their loved ones.

Thanks for reading,

WP

When Your Marriage/Coupling Reaches That "Too Familiar Stage"

Welcome, to a long overdue musing.

I'm throwing this nugget out there to help the wayward man muddle through his relationships. I've touched on this before in previous posts, but now it holds special meaning because I've almost been married for a year.

When asked by my waxing lady,"What's the secret to a good marriage?"

"Sh*t, that's a good one...," I pondered a bit. "Honesty, communication...don't screw before you get married so you actually get to know your potential husband or wife..."

"That sounds like pretty go advice," she thanked me.

I got to thinking in the shower, just now, those are important but not nearly as important as having ZERO expectations. I can see the scrunched up faces of women reading this just as clearly as I see the men's inquisitive ones.

Really! Keep them at zero and everything your spouse does will be a gesture of love and affection.

I expect nothing more from my wife than faithfulness and love. I don't expect her to cook my dinner, fold my clothes, match my socks or any other mundane household chore. I don't wake up expecting a fresh pot of coffee, a prepared lunch or my gym bag packed.

I'm a self-sufficient man.

I'll do my laundry how I like, I can cook like a champ and I'm up in the morning with a start! If I were to wait for the wiffle to wake up, I'd be three hours late to work every morning.

There is an inverse to this scenario: when my wife does my laundry, I thank her, I appreciate it when she packs a lunch or cooks dinner...etc.

This goes both ways, ladies. I can feel every punch in the arm you give your hubby or boyfriend as you read the first part.

How about not expecting us to do things around the house...? I married my wife not my mom. I don't expect a chore list when I wake up in the morning. The chores-before-you-play scenario went out the window with the rock music embargo I grew up with. All moms have qualities we want in our wives. My mother is very intelligent as is my wife. She's loving and caring, again, so is my wife. My mother is an attractive women, my wife is smokin' hot. My mother at one point dictated my very existence, my wife wasn't given that power.

Imagine how much you'd appreciate the laundry your man does, mixed darks and lights and all. (Tide Coldwater) Imagine how much more willing he'd be to do little things around the house if you didn't get pissy when they didn't get done? If you didn't expect him to do it and it got done...BAM! Party sex. Word.

Dudes, my last point is only in play if YOU ACTUALLY DO THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE! You can't pick and choose your way through this advice. Take it one. Take it all.

Ladies, remember when the stuff gets done, too. I took it upon myself to clean our bathrooms this past weekend...from floor to ceiling...or ceiling to floor. I'm going to call that by this weekend I'm going to be accused of not pulling my weight around the house. Not cool.

This theory can apply to anything -- smoking, don't expect them to quit. Voice your concern, offer assistance and walk away. Then you'll find yourself not mad months down the road after they don't quit and how happy you'll be if they do.

Weight-loss is another hard one for either side of the relationship. Don't expect them to have the discipline to do anything about it. It isn't an issue. Then if they stay the same...you still love them...if they lose it...you love them in dirty ways in public places...

These are just a few examples and I'm only dispensing this advice to two married people or well established couples. This advice is for the relationship that starts to get nit-picky as it ages...the relationship that's just as sweet as day one but with fewer secrets and more shared memories.

This is the advice that saves marriages because when this method is employed it gives way to less bickering and more loving.

Love the one you're with, for who they are. I'm not advocating infidelity or anything extreme. This is for the day-to-day.

I know you work full-time. Remember I do, too. I love you more than anything. Remind me you do, too.

Chicas, ease up. Dudes, put out as much for housework as you do in the sack. Chicas again, with less housework to do there's more time to vaca in O-Town.

Thanks for reading,

WP

Operation WULF

A fun little bit of Law Enforcement action in Arizona...
TUCSON, Ariz. — Drunken Arizona drivers with the late-night munchies may soon be getting more than chicken strips at drive-through windows.
The Pima County Sheriff's Department has a new campaign targeting drunken driving. Operation Would U Like Fries, or Operation WULF, will put undercover deputies inside 24-hour fast-food restaurants to spot impaired drivers placing their orders.
Sgt. Doug Hanna, a DUI unit supervisor, says if deputies notice someone with classic symptoms of impairment — slurred speech, red or watery eyes or beer breath — they will have a uniformed deputy stationed outside pull the driver over.
Hanna says money for the intermittent program is coming from a $128,000 grant from the Governor's Office of Highway Safety.